Confinement stories

by Despoina

Ok, who knew?

Besides Bill Gates in his, I assume very famous by now TED talk, who else could have predicted that the must wear for Spring 2020 would be the surgical face mask? That the top travelling destination would be your living room and that the most desired item everyone buys is fucking toilet paper? TOILET PAPER PEOPLE!

The first week of confinement, I was really not thinking too much about it. I was just doing my thing. I woke up and got straight into work mode. I opened my work laptop and was full on concentrated. The attire was simple, I was in my PJs. The set up was familiar, I am in my living room table, all my notes, markers and pens are laid out in full entropy. I have some UX Books next to me, the ones I am always planning to get into but never actually do. I have a mug full of coffee and I am playing my music loud, not in sound cancelling headphones.

I soon realised that I was actually getting more things done which gave me a high. I was no longer wasting time getting to the office, I did not stress with STIB delays and I no longer needed to squeeze into filled up trams between fucking smelly strangers. I did not need to look for a free flex desk to sit in either and I would no longer rush from one floor to another for meetings. I started and finished work on time without a second wasted in between. At about 17:00 each day, I immediately got on with my day which included cooking, reading, drawing and of course loads of Netflix and Amazon Prime streaming. I even slept better.

I started running too! It felt both amazing and horrible. Horrible because I suck at it. The first time I run, I was almost 1KM in and I could no longer catch my breath….. I thought to myself, what the hell is this? Am I really that much out of shape? Now I know for sure, I will never survive a Zombie apocalypse! And let’s talk for a second about all these people around. I kept freaking out at the sight of them. What are they all doing outside?! They are not working out or walking their dogs so, they should go back home! Wait…. should I go back home as well instead of doing this?

Putting panic aside, I sure felt great after each run. Like I have accomplished something amazing for my body.

The second week, was a bit harder. I was supposed to be on holidays in Thessaloniki and I could not stop thinking about it. I was looking forward to spend quality time with my sister, doing facials, going out to eat some good greek food, drink good wine and have walks by the port. Instead of all that, I spend my time filling horribly designed online forms on Ryanair’s website, not at all convinced that I will ever get a refund for my cancelled trip …. I had FaceTime sessions with my family instead of seeing them in real life.

Days were getting progressively more quiet inside as well as outside during this second week too. My stepson was at his mom’s (yaayyyyy! not trying to be a bitch here or anything but it is less of a hassle to be at home without a Fortnite teenager who, justifiably so, is not so motivated for remote schooling) I continued my work flow, kept on running and kept on sucking at that. I watched how Tanguy adapted to this new reality by filming WODs and setting up Zoom workout sessions for the members of his gym, CrossFit 1815. At the end of each day, we were both happy to have made it another day without going insane or killing each other (this must be true love).

And now we are embarking on the third week knowing there is more to come…. it just feels insane to be honest. I feel the urge to just walk all the way to Grand Place to make sure it is still there! I cannot believe that I get scared about things as simple as a sore throat, worrying about sneezing… I would normally not pay attention to things like that before. It is also disappointing to see clearly that, the earth will just keep on turning and nature will bloom whether we, humans, all live or die. That we in fact do not matter at all.

How insane it feels to me now that I spent 150EUR on a MANGO jumpsuit which I will probably not wear anytime soon.

How sad I feel for not being able to go back to my hometown and how scared I am for thinking even for a split second that I might not be able to hug my favourite people again. 

I know that everything I am writing and thinking right now are a bit exaggerated. I am sure that I will be able to travel back home once again. I know that now, more than ever, we need to stay calm and be positive. Stay home. Reflect. From now on say a big fat NO to things that are not important and leave them behind. Care about the things that really matter, fight for them in fact.

After all this too, shall pass…

Currently listening to: Carole King – I feel the earth move


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